I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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