it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
