He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
