Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
