One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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