It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
