Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
