if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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