Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
