All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize