Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
