I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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