idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize