just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
