woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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