I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
