I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina is officially offended.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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