I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dignity is for republicans.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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