Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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