oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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