We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
