haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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