no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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