You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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