man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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