Kiss
Puke
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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