Dude my mom stole all your condoms
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
God I need to hump something, right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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