tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
