You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize