yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
