Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
