I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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