Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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