apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
