Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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