Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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