Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
