Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
