i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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