Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
