some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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