i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize