I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
