Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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