Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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