just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
