Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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