Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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