Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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