Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
