yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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