Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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