My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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