Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
