Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
