is your mom at the bar?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
