i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
