She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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