$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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