my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
