In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
